KENYA

It was an eight hour flight from Frankfurt to Mombassa, Kenya, that we took on the 16th of March. Lufthansa must have used some of the old cooks from Folsom on that one. Upon arrival at Kenya International Airport, we were met by a group of singing natives in traditional garb, along with a blast of heat and humidity that would have made Miami blush. Our bus took us through Mombassa, a city of great contrasts…State-of-the-art buildings, surrounded by huts, and Tijuana-style bombed-out mud shacks. After about forty minutes, we reached the ferry which was to take us across to the coastal area, which is where the resort hotels, etc. are located. The ferry is infamous for being infested with thieves and pickpockets. The poverty level is such, that it’s little wonder. We saw a number of people with packages being carried on their head, not unlike Rio.
After we finally got settled into our room, Naomi and I took a look out from our balcony, only to find a veritable orgy for the eyes…Lush multi-colored bougainvillea bushes, papaya, coconut, and breadfruit trees, all heavily laden with ripening fruit, behind which was an incredible ensemble of various palms, all silhouetted by the sun coming up over the Indian Ocean. Yo!
Man hasn’t made too many mistakes there yet, so Nature still basically rules. There were monkeys in the trees, and occasionally on our balcony. At night, without mind-altering devices, we could see a lot of bats flying about. The Indian Ocean is a delight in which to swim…Warm with gentle waves. The tides vary from minute to minute. At breakfast, the water almost reached the retaining wall. An hour later, it was 150 meters out.
After a week of surf, sun and pool, we took a ride on an outrigger to the coral reef in our area, to look for sea urchins and other denizens of the sea. We were not disappointed. Those guys really know how to handle a sailboat.
Following our outrigger scene, it was time to head out for our safari in the Masai Mara. We hopped a twin-engine plane for this caper, and took off for the jungle. It was a two-hour flight. As in Mombassa, we had a hut-style hotel room. Unlike Mombassa, it had no air-conditioning. The safari consisted of three separate outings. We saw a herd of elephants grazing, with two baby elephants still nursing, and generally getting in the way of their elders. It was pretty funny. We also encountered herds of gazelles, impalas, zebras, hippos, wild boars, and a lot of other things of interest. One of the more tense situations was when we found ourselves parked between a group of lionesses on the hunt, and a herd of zebras. We stayed for a very short period, took our pictures, and SPLIT. A while later, we encountered a lioness just after she had killed a zebra. She still had blood on her nose, and was breathing heavily. The zebra was, of course, motionless and missing a few parts.
I think it’s time to share the little bit of Swahili that we picked-up while we were there:
Jambo….Hello
Habari…How are you?
Msouri Sana…Fine, thank you
Assantay Sanna…Thank you very much
Hakuna Matata….No problem
Moja…1
Mbeely…2
Tatu…3
Nneh…4
Tano…5
Thus armed, you should be able to see your way clear through most social, and barroom situations.
During our flight back to Mombassa, the pilot let me take the controls for a little while. Some of the East German passengers weren’t too thrilled at this.
Upon our return to Mombassa, our friend, Hans, booked a boat for some deep-sea fishing. This is where Hemingway used to go for his fishing excursions with his buddies. Knowing this, I was determined not only to go, but also not to get seasick. Believe it or not, I caught two Dorado (Dolphins) and a seven-foot sailfish…Beginners’ luck! We were greeted upon our return at the beach like visiting rock stars…By virtue of the fact that I caught a sailfish, the captain of our boat was obligated to fly a red flag from his mast. The people on the beach saw the flag, and knew what it meant, because there sure was a lot of excitement when we beached, and unloaded our catch. We gave the fish away to some poor people on the beach, who barter, and trade African goodies for clothing, shoes, etc.
Each night there was some form of entertainment after dinner for the hotel guests…. Native dancers, jumpers, and other good stuff. The night of the fish caper was a snake show. They had guys showing various types of snakes, and went through the audience, allowing people to handle, and of course be photographed with the snakes. After a few “normal” looking snakes, out came a python. I, along with some others, allowed the thing to wrap itself around me. Then it was Naomi’s turn…after all; she had handled all of the other species. When she got the creature around her shoulders, she said the face looked funny, and that she felt some strange rumblings in its stomach. Just as she said this, it threw-up on her leg! Oh the joys of snake handling!
The following day, to celebrate my sailfish conquest, we went to a store, and bought a little gold sailfish to wear on my necklace. We also stopped at the local restaurant, and sampled a bit of gazelle (like filet mignon), impala (like porterhouse), and zebra (rather gamey).
We took a bus and walking tour of Mombassa. We got to see the wood-carvers at work. It’s incredible what they can do with primitive hand tools…Yes; we bought booga booga stuff. While at the produce clearing house, a Bob Marley lookalike approached me to sell some dope to me. He whispered in my ear, “Marijuana,” at which point I replied, loud enough to be heard in Chicago, “Marijuana?” After repeating this exercise a few times, he go the message that I wasn’t interested in MARIJUANA. About five minutes later, I saw the aforementioned dirtbag halfway chasing an elderly woman down the street with a joint in his hand, trying madly to sell it to her. I was really comedic. That evening, after dinner, I ordered a shot of “Kenya Gold,” which is a very light coffee liqueur. After tasting it, I asked the bartender to add a shot of vodka to it. He said that he had never done that before. After he did it for me, I invited him to taste it. He smiled broadly, and said, “We shall name this drink for you. It shall be a ‘Kenya Tony’!” Somehow I think he was putting me on “Black Russian” fans. Upon this triumph, Naomi and I decided to return to our room. As we were making our way back, Naomi started to imitate the cats’ noises. Thus we were escorted by six of the local cats who inhabit the bushes and trees throughout the complex.
Here’s a capper for the trip. A pair of guys showed up on the beach with a pair of camels for tourists to ride. Figuring we’d bartered with, and for everything else, I went into action with Naomi at my side. Within minutes, we were “Back in the saddle again!” Needless to say, following that lick, I immediately ran back into the ocean. Camel-riding is not good for the genitals when wearing just a bathing suit!
All in all, it was a truly memorable trip. The beaches are immaculate, and pure white. The people are very tourist-oriented, and the way of life is, as they say in Swahili, “Pola, Pola.” Which means, “Slowly, Slowly.”